Chatter Birds

I pick the kids up from their weekly tutor class. Walking to the car,

Me: "We are not getting a bird. That's final."

Madeleine: "You didn't even hear me ask for one!"

Me: "Ok, what do you want then?"

Madeleine: "A bird."

Eitan: "And I am going to save my money for a hamster."

Me: "We have a hamster. And a fish and a dog."

Eitan: "Well, Stanley has nine pets."

Me: "Nine pets? It must be a zoo at his place."

Eitan: "He has four cats, three hamsters and two guinea pigs."

Madeleine: "He could have 32 cats if they all got preggers."

Me: "You can save all the money you want but we are not getting a bird. We have plenty of pets."

Madeleine: "I am going to keep the bird in my room. And take care of it."

Me: "What about Rusty? Are you bored with the dog already?"

Madeleine: "No!"

Eitan: "Well, you never walk the dog in the morning."

Madeleine: "Yes I do!"

Eitan: "Did you go this morning? Nooo."

Me: "Okay, that. Is. Enough . . !

Me, over dinner (Sonnet works late): "What book are you reading?"

Madeleine: "Mr Gum."

Me: "What's it about?"

Madeleine: "Mr Gum."

Me: "A little more please?"

Eitan: "Actually it is more about Polly."

Me: "What do you like about it?"

Madeleine: "I like the characters. And the story."

Eitan: "It doesn't really have a plot. It's about parrots and rainbows and stuff."

Madeleine: "A book doesn't have to follow the rules, Eitan."

Me: "Excellent point, well said."

Madeleine to Aneta: "Do you know any names for a little red bird?"

Eitan: "I wish everybody would stop telling me what to read."

Me: "Do they?"

Eitan: "Yeah. Like you're always buying me books."

Me: "I think of them as gifts. You don't have to read them."

Eitan:

Me: "Why do you think people give you books to read any way?"

Eitan: "To bother me?"

Me: "Well, I want you to enjoy them. And discuss them with you. What happens when you read a book?"

Madeleine: "You become a part of the story."

Me: "Excellent, you are two for two. And what then?"

Eitan, Madeleine:

Me: "You know that expression, 'you are what you eat?'

Madeleine: "Pasta pesto?"

Me: "Some people also say 'you are what you read.'"

Madeleine: "Good one, Dad. Do you really think we're pasta pesto though?"

Madeleine: "Once, when I was with Auntie Katie in New York, we went into a pet store and there was a talking bird."

Me: "You mean a parrot?"

Madeleine: "Yeah. And guess how much he was?"

Me: "I don't know - two hundred bucks?"

Madeleine: "Six hundred dollars!"

Me: "It could be six dollars for all I care. No bird."

Madeleine: "I can still think about it can't I?"

Me: "Madeleine! What are you doing down here? It's bed time."

Madeleine: "Where do you keep the duck tape?"

Me: "Go upstairs. To bed.

Madeleine: "Do you have any fishing wire?"

Me: "Fishing wire?"

Madeleine: "Do you have anything that claws can grab on to?"

Me:

Madeleine: "Okay, okay - I am going. You don't have to look at me like that."

Me: "Oh, gross. Rusty threw up in the back of the car."

Eitan: "That's like the tenth time. Why does he do it?"

Me: "I think he gets car sick. Or maybe he's anxious."

Eitan: "That's like Stanley - Stanley threw up twice on the first day of school."

Me:

Eitan: "The teacher had to clean it up."

Photo from the web.